


It's where my demons hide

by DeadPoet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Creepy Lucifer, Dubious Consent, Janitor!Gabriel - Freeform, M/M, Odin is a nice guy, Possessive Lucifer, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:24:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2534093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadPoet/pseuds/DeadPoet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Miltons are anything but a happy family. When Gabriel just can't take it anymore, he runs away  and starts a new life. A good life. A life full of sweets and crazy friends. A life, that he LIKES even though he misses his brothers like a cutoff limb.<br/>His life becomes considerably less quiet and nice when his brother finds him. Lucifer surely won't let him go again – he's HIS and he will be loved above all else, might Gabriel hate him for it or not.</p>
<p>This fic will contain a stalkerish Lucifer, incest between brothers (Lucifer/Gabriel, NOT Sam/Dean) and stuff that might remind one of the fact that Lucifer is the devil and, well, EVIL. He won't be nice, unless it suits him and he won't treat poor Gabriel well, so don't read this should you not be up for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blood and caramel

**Author's Note:**

> So glad you're interested. :) Just to be clear again: This will be a pretty dark fic and I'll try to explore Lucifer's character in regard of his pride and his need to be loved above everything else. I am not that sure how it will end yet but I am pretty sure, that Gabriel won't like it. He won't like the way to get there either, but well.  
> Tell me what you think about if, whether or not you like it etc.  
> I'll try to update once a week / every two weeks.

There aren't that many things that one needs to know about Lucifer Milton. He had a fucked up name but than they all had. He was said to live up to it, be the biggest ass on the planet and people were damn right about that. He was an elitist and a racist but in a very special way. He believed in the power of blood, the genes. The Miltons had three kings in their lineage, a few scientists and so on. Their father used to be president of the United States of America and had later become a very popular figure. He had been popular around the world, a feat, that not many american politicians were able to achieve. When he had gone missing it had been devastating for all of them. Well, at least Gabriel assumed that. No one in this family was used to communication.  
So. Elitist. Racist. Lucifer believed to be above people who had nothing but workers in their lineage. He said that greatness was a trade that got passed via blood. So he was great and he had the right to lord it over everyone else.  
He was brutal and he was a dick and Gabriel really didn't know why he loved him as much as he did. 

When Gabriel grew up, Lucifer was the one who played with him, who told him stories and sat down with him and bitched about the fact that he had to learn Chinese at the age of five. Gabriel adored him. Lucifer was 10 years older than him, Raphael was 3 years older than Lucifer and Michael was 2 years older than Raphael. Gabriel had been the little wonder, the baby no one had anticipated and he had never fitted into that family. He was too small when everyone else had already been finished. Everyone had been grown up, so Gabe had been loved and pampered by everyone and at the same time had to achieve everything. Everyone else had already done it. Gabe hadn't found it all that easy and he didn't get why, he just felt like he wasn't enough, like he was being left behind.  
When Gabriel was six years old, he wasn't popular at all and he was not the top of his class, like Michael and Raph and Lucy had been. His father didn't say anything about that, but he seldom said anything and Michael looked at him with disappointment and told him that they would get tutors for his next year and Gabriel didn't want that, he got a migraine thinking about it. A migraine at the age of six. He smiled and nodded and then he hid in his room and cried in a corner. Lucy picked the lock, took his hand and led him out of the room. They put chocolate in Michael's shoes, hid cockroaches in his bed and cut wholes in his socks. Later they sat down on the porch, ate ice cream and cuddled. “You're perfect, kiddo.” Lou ruffled up his hair and smiled down at him. “Don't ever let them convince you of something different. Michael just got a stick in his ass and can't see any of us as something other but a soldier or an accountant. He'll be the soldier and Raph the accountant, but not us, kiddo. You're gonna be something fabulous.”  
Gabriel had nodded easily and then looked up. “What about you?”  
“Oh, I'm just gonna be me.” He had cocked his head to one side and then said something that Gabriel had taken as a joke at that time. “Or maybe God.”

Gabriel didn't use to stand up at night and get into his brothers beds. He knew better. He knew that he shouldn't do that, so he didn't. But he was afraid at night, when he was alone and he shivered under the covers. It was worse, when there had been some kind of threat against father or when they had been watching some Japanese movie (original voices.... _Konnichi wa!_ ). Japanese people were sick. Especially people who made children programs and Gabe didn't like any of it, until Lou showed him animes. Dragon Balls was really nice. Gabe also liked Sailor Moon because the characters were funny and it was colorful, but when Raphael found him watching it, he screamed at him that that was for girls and he shouldn't waste his time like that anyway, because it didn't seem like he was working hard enough to honor their name as it was.  
The worst thing wasn't even a Japanese film but a military drama that Michael had picked up. It had been his reaction to the Sailor-Moon-debacle. So Gabe had to watch it and he had tried to look okay but there had been so much blood and pain and he would have started crying had Lou not started cracking bad jokes. That had made it okay somehow. Gabriel had just watched Lou, sprawled casually over his seat, that lazy grin on his face. Lou had been Lou and not affected at all and his jokes made the movie unreal. They made it fine again.  
That night he had laid in bed and it had been horrible. He had been so afraid and he remembered Michael's and Raphael's look. Disappointment. That was horrible enough, but the gore was worse. Without Lou, it became real again. He could hear the guns and the screams and there had been blood in the dirt and it had all been so realistic and that was a movie about something that was really happening, something that Michael wanted to participate in, wanted GABRIEL to participate in. Gabe laid in bed and he was alone and afraid and crying and it just became worse. And then the door opened and Lou came in. “Hey kiddo, you're asleep?”  
“No.”  
“Great, don't hog the blankets.” And then his big brother was in the bed and hugged him from behind and he was safe and smelled like cigarettes and caramel. 

Maybe it wasn't so hard to see, why Gabriel loved Lucifer and always would. 

Lucifer fell from grace when Gabriel was 12. Lou was 22 but he was still living with them. The other brothers did too. There was just no reason to move out but they weren't home that often. Micheal was gone a lot of the time, in some war or the other getting another shiny medal for his jacket. Raphael was running a lot of their father's charity organizations, always on one gala or the other.  
But Gabe was there and he heard Lou screaming, shouting at their father. Gabe would never learn what it was about. He got the main points, though: His sons weren't the most important things in dads life. LOU wasn't the most important thing. Dad was around, helping other people, taking all these many things serious and Lucifer didn't get it because they were all beneath them in his opinion.  
Dad threw him out and Lou was gone. Gone, gone, gone.  
And Gabe was alone. 

Gabriel wasn't a happy child after that. He hadn't been before, but he was even less so now. He wanted to scream and shout, he wanted to run with his head against a wall. He shied away from other children and his bodyguard was his best friend. He never became the best one in his class, but Michael had other problems and Gabriel started to see, that he was just overworked, that he was crumbling under the pressure. Sometimes, in the evenings, Gabe would sit down on the couch and lean against Michael. He leaned against him, because it felt wrong to touch Micheal, because he was unapproachable and he shouldn't have been. He was still his older brother. So Gabriel touched him like this on purpose to remind himself, that Micheal was human. At some point the man would always start to interrogate him, quiz him on his vocabulary and other things, but Gabriel could see that Michael was lonely and that he needed these times together. Like Gabe had never been able to ask for someone in his room, Michael wasn't able for someone to just be close for a moment. 

Gabriel didn't have a lot of friends growing up. There were always people who wanted to mingle with him but he knew that they didn't care for him. Sometimes Michael pointed people out he should socialize with and Gabe complied. But that weren't friends. That were colleagues, so to speak.  
He missed Lucifer. At night he imagined Lou there and talked to him, bitched with him about everything.  
Sometimes Lucifer would suddenly appear outside of Gabriel's school and he took him away to the arcade or the zoo even though he should be at school or even take a test.  
Gabriel never cared for the tests.  
The best days were, when they were going to see a show or a play. Gabriel loved musicals and he loved plays and he reenacted all his favorite scenes on the way home and Lucifer laughed and it was perfect.  
“Why can't every day be like this?” Gabe asked once, licking away at the biggest ice crone the world had ever seen.  
“'cause I'm the only one who loves you for who you are.” Lucifer kissed his forehead. “Never forget that, little bro.”  
Yeah. Lucifer had always been a manipulative dick. And even though Gabriel knew that now, the damage had been done.

Dad vanished when Gabriel was 15 years old. There was no letter, no warning, no nothing. One day he went out and didn't come back.  
They waited for someone to want ransom, for someone to kill him on TV but nothing happened. Dad was just gone and he didn't come back.  
Michael saw himself not as the new dad, but as someone to keep everything in order till he would return. When Lucifer was at the door, Gabe thought for a moment, that now everything would be alright again. He ran down and he hugged him, like he were a much smaller boy and well. He WAS very small for his age, still waiting for that famous growth spurt people kept telling him about. Lucifer hugged him back and grinned in his hair. “Hey kiddo.” He still smelled like caramel and cigarettes and fresh grass and Gabriel wanted him home. He wanted to keep him there.  
“And hello to you, Michael.”  
“Hello Lucifer. Gabriel: My side, now.”  
Lucifer didn't let him go. He just hugged him closer. “Brother...why so cold?”  
“You're not welcome here, Lucifer. Dad made that clear.”  
“Dad's not around any more, is he?” There was pain in Lou's voice. He wasn't glad about it. None of them were. “I don't want to fight you, Micheal. This is my home. We're brothers and we belong together.”  
“You lost your place here, Lucifer. Now let Gabriel go and get out or someone will take you.”  
“Fuck you, Michael. Stop for one moment licking the ground dad walked on because – newsflash – neither one of us ever mattered to him!”  
“Get. Out.” Michael was dismissive and didn't sound like he cared. He sounded cold and in control, like always.  
“You're a soul- and spineless little pussy, Micheal. Unless you have orders, what are you? You don't even need a brain or a free will, do you?” Lucifer was hissing and then he kissed Gabriel's head. “I'll be back soon and take you home, kiddo. Love you.” The last part was so quiet, that Gabriel nearly missed it.  
When Lucifer was gone, Gabriel hugged Micheal who wasn't moving at all. He looked cold and in control. While hugging him, Gabriel could feel him shaking and his heart beating in a rapid, shaky rhythm. After a while, Michael put a hand on his head. “I'll make it all right. I'll do it the right way, I'll do what dad told me to.”  
“You're a good son, Micheal.”  
He didn't tell him, that he was a good brother. He was a son, first and foremost.  
Michael had to notice but he didn't say anything. But then he leaned forward, pressed a kiss on Gabriel's head and buried his hand in his hair. “I love you. You know that, right?”  
He nodded. “Of course.” In his head, Lou was laughing and Gabriel wasn't sure if his brother really did love him or loved him out of obligation, loved the idea of a younger brother even though the reality didn't fit the criteria for a 'good, acceptable Milton'.

It became worse. Sometimes Lucifer showed up but more often than not he just said hello, hugged him once and then fought with Michael. Gabriel missed him even more than before. He watched him on TV and followed all the blogs.  
Lucifer had started a cult. He didn't call it that of course but that was what it was. Kind of his own take on Scientology but without the whole alien bullshit. He was charming in a scary way and people flogged around him.  
When Gabriel came home one day, he heard noises out of the living room. Terrible noises. For one moment he thought about going upstairs, ignoring it. Then he took a deep breath and walked into the living room.  
Lucifer and Michael were there. Michael sat on a chair, roped and bleeding out of different cuts. He didn't look totally conscious.  
“Lou?”  
“Hey Kiddo.” Lucifer grinned at him. He had a knife in his hand and polished it.  
“Hey.” He felt cold, while he looked at it. He put his backpack on the floor and took a step towards Micheal. “What is...what happened Lucy?” He used the name that Lou hated, because he wanted to use it and be sure that he would still survive, that it would be alright. Because his brother wouldn't hurt him, right?  
He wasn't s sure.  
“Oh, Michael and I had a minor disagreement. We'll work it out.”  
“This looks a bit drastic, doesn't it?” Gabriel worked up a smile, tried to be harsh and crude because that was the way that Lucifer and him worked. Even though Lucifer always told him to watch his language, he wasn't as mean about it as Micheal. Lucifer liked giving him freedom, so Gabriel tried himself out with him and was crude and harsh, just 'cause he could with him and in some way it made Lou happy because it showed him, that he trusted him. “He never showed any interest in bondage and I'm sure a pretty girl should be included.”  
“Watch it. You're still a baby, kiddo.”  
“15 years old is not a baby.”  
“Close enough.”  
Gabriel rolled his eyes and then came closer again. He hugged Lucifer from behind. He smelled like copper and sweat. His chest became cold, his fingers tingled. He knew the answer, before he asked. He asked never the less.  
“Lucy...can't you just cut him loose and go? Can't you two not just...make up?”  
“Oh, I would, kiddo, I would, but he doesn't let me.”  
“He just needs you to do what dad wanted. He can't do anything but that.”  
Lucifer kissed him on the head. “I can't say that I am sorry, 'cause I am not. I love dad more than the stupid, worthless people he had been giving everything. I love you all more than I could ever love someone else. We are _better_. I won't say that we're not, that would be a lie and condescending. Michael doesn't believe that we are the same as all the peasants but he says what he shall say, a dressed up monkey. We're all way too good for that, don't you think?”  
Gabriel didn't know how to say something, that would be his words and not get him into trouble. He didn't understand why his brothers had to do that to each other. Lucifer was proud and Michael was dutiful and they hurt each other over it and he didn't want that.  
“Please don't hurt him any more.” He whispered it, his hands clenched in Lucifer's shirt. He wanted his brother. He wanted to feel safe and cared for. This... Lucifer HURT Michael. It broke Gabriel's heart. This wasn't how it should be. This was wrong. This was hell. “Please. Please, please, please...”  
“Hmmm---mmmh.” Lucifer looked down at him and there was something in his eyes, something new and dangerous. “You're so precious, little brother. So fragile.”  
“...please. Lucy....please, please, please....” He was close to telling him that he would do anything. He didn't, because Lucifer's gaze made him shudder. There was something dark, something, that made him afraid and shiver. The smell of copper, the wrong, wrong smell only made it worse.  
“Stop begging, Gabriel.” Raphael's voice came from the far end of the room. He stood there, a mobile phone in his hand. “I just called the police, Lucifer. You may go now.”  
“Raphi. You're actually home... Mark the day!” Lucifer winked at him, put his arm around Gabriel and dragged him away.  
“And let go of the boy.”  
“Nope. I think I'll keep him. Don't you want that, Gabe? Will be nice, holiday around the clock. We'll make a pyjama party, eat candy, watch Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne. You'll love it!”  
Gabriel didn't answer. He didn't want to go with Lucifer. He was afraid of him and that was just wrong. He had always known that Lucifer was dangerous – he had had problems with fights all his life but Gabe had never been afraid of him. There had been no reason. Now he wasn't sure that Lucifer wasn't dangerous for _him_. His mind told him that he should run but everything else wanted to be close to Lucifer and search for a whiff of cigarettes and caramel.  
“Let him go, or I'll shoot you in the head.” Raphael showed a gun. Gabriel hadn't even known that Raphael owned a gun. That ANYONE in this house owned a gun. Even Michael had never had one in his hand while inside. Not, that Gabriel would have seen.  
“Really? And risk shooting Gabe?”  
“Better that, than see him fall with you.” Raphael sounded cold and convinced, like always. He raised the gun.  
Lucifer pressed a kiss on Gabriel's head and then let him go. “See you soon, kiddo.”

That had been just the start of the war. Micheal and Raph sued Lucifer for everything. They fought with protocols and lawyers. After a year Lucifer wasn't allowed to bear the name 'Milton' anymore. So he became like Cher, he joked in an interview.  
In the same time, Michael was poisoned once, nearly hit by a car twice and shot at three times.  
Gabriel couldn't take it any more. He wanted to ask, if Lucy could be there for his 18th birthday but he knew that that wouldn't go over well. All there was left to live was to wait at the sidelines and watch his family rip each other apart. He couldn't take it any more, he just really couldn't. It was killing him, it was killing him to be Gabriel Milton.  
So he decided to kill Gabriel. 

He took his own blood over months and stored it. On his 18th birthday, he left home, went to the river, splashed his blood everywhere and hoped that people would just assume that his body was lost in the river.  
When he went away, he prayed to God, that he would never see anyone out of his family ever again.

Maybe his father had done the same thing.


	2. Peppermintdrops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Loki' and Sam meet. They even become friends of sorts, but there's danger at the horizon, just waiting to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this happened. Not much Lucy in this chapter but he'll be back in full force for the next one, getting evil done. Gabe needs to feel secure before that can happen. ;)  
> And yeah: Odin really is a nice guy for once. He didn't have that much of a role in Supernatural but in this I imagine him to be some kind of Bobby Singer but for Gabe.

_10 years later_

Everyone was in awe when Samuel Winchester decided to visit Stanford. A true celebrity, someone like THAT. Gabriel himself pitied the guy from the very beginning. He wouldn't have an easy life here, even though he brought his brother as some kind of bodyguard with him. Watchdog. Gabriel found them amusing, the way they never trailed too far from one another. They were so close, it was...exhilarating. It made something echo in him, whenever he watched them.  
Sam Winchester was an actor. He had played some buff fellow in this chick flick. Something Gabriel would have never been interested in.  
…  
Weeeeell, since Raphi couldn't kill him for it anymore: It had been Gilmore Girls, which Gabriel watched religiously. It had been his life, while it had been on air and he had all the DVDs and whenever he felt bad, he put them in and got himself a big bucket of ice cream and yeah, he had always been more of a Dean-guy than a Jess. Jess was nice and everything but Gabriel preferred the honest ones. And also... Sam Winchester had these eyes, this look. Sometimes he reminded him of Lucy when he had an arrogant or thoughtful moment.  
So yeah. Gabriel was over the moon that he would see the guy up close, but he had lived with celebrities for most of his childhood. He didn't do starstruck.  
“Stop admiring the celebrities, Loki.” Odin pushed a bucket in his arms. “You have work to do.”  
“Don't I know it.” He rolled his eyes, took the bucket and his broom and saluted with the last one. “Pokernight at Balder's later on?”  
“You should stay away from him.” Odin rolled his eyes. “She won't come back to you and you know it. She wants someone with a bit of class and we all know that you're nearly illiterate.”  
“I've got plenty class!” Gabriel put a hand on his groin and poked his tongue at Odin. “Am a whole class on my very own!”  
“You're a pig and a child.” Odin rolled his eyes and went away, minding his own business. Gabriel watched him retreat and then sighed. He liked the old man, he really did and he owed him big time. Odin had given him this job when he had found him 6 years ago. Well. Gabe had tried to steal from him. Odin had a bag of candy and Gabriel had been hungry, it was hardly his fault alright? Odin had hit him on the head and taken him under his wing. He thought him lazy, uneducated and he was under the impression that Gabriel had always lived in dumpsters. When asked for his name, Gabriel had said 'Loki' just to mess with him, but Odin was a crazy bastard and he actually went with it.  
And now here they were. Gabriel was Loki, the assistant janitor at Stanford. 

All in all it wasn't such a bad life. It was even a damn great life. He liked it and he could joke and say what he wanted. He played Poker with the guys, he watched stupid chick flicks with Odin's daughter Sigyn – who he wasn't allowed to touch EVER – and he could secretly read whatever he liked. He followed blogs and news shows to know what there was to know about his family. There were days when he still missed them like one would miss a limb and he was always worried that they would – one day – suffice in killing each other but at least he would just hear about it when it was already done and over with.  
Gabriel whistled 'Candyman' while he went to the floor he had to do before he could go home and prepare dinner for Odin and himself. His most 'loved' professor was working on that floor but it would be dark, when he came to his office, so he wasn't afraid. The man never stayed longer than he needed to and Gabriel had met him at one of his favorite joints one time. Had been a shame. Gabe hadn't been able to visit that stripclub ever again.  
He took his time working, got everything clean and finally stopped in front of the office of Professor Crowley and looked at the board beside his office. Every term the guy wrote down a few complicated phrases in Greek or Latin and then he expected the students to find the mistakes and correct them. Every time no one managed till the second class, he took a whole hour out of his time to make sure that they all knew about their mediocricy. It was practically insane because no normal college first year had that kind of knowledge 'bout a dead language. But normal wasn't what Crowley liked.  
Gabriel really hadn't been surprised to catch a glimpse of the pin at Crowley's jacket. The guy was part of Lucy's little club. He called it Purgatory. Every member Gabe had ever met had been a presumptious dick. He was pretty sure that Lucifer felt the same way. To Lucy just very few people were worth something – the rest of the guys in the cult had to be there to have some cannon fodder and someone to pay the bills.

Gabriel leaned on his broom and looked the test over. He recognized that one. It was part of the Odyssey – the choice between Scylla and Charybdis. For a moment he didn't know what to do. He bit his lip and looked it over again.  
He still was no genius but Gabriel had recognized over the last few years that he knew a hell of a lot more about a lot of subjects than most other people did. He was bright in his own way and he had had the best education you could get. It showed and he sometimes even missed learning. He was still reciting the Iliad before he went to sleep, just to taste the words on his tongue. He sometimes borrowed books about Shakespeare, Poe and the European Renaissance, hid them under the couch and fed his mind with knowledge he would never need. It was a guilty pleasure.  
What he did then was rash and stupid.  
He took the chalk and corrected the mistakes and then wrote underneath, in Ancient Greek, the letters as sleek as calligraphy:  
_Like the generations of leaves, the lives of mortal men. Now the wind scatters the old leaves across the earth, now the living timber bursts with the new buds and spring comes round again. And so with men: as one generation comes to life, another dies away._  
He thought it a nice way to express: Fuck off, old man. 

“Wow, you managed that?”

Gabriel did not flinch. He was way too old to be flinching. Instead he turned around, his eyebrows high and crossed his arms over the overall that told everyone that he was a worker and surely not the studious type. Behind him stood a boy with wavy, honey-colored hair and the biggest puppy eyes that daytime TV had ever seen. Had Gabriel been into boys, he might have swooned. As it was, he used his most cocky grin. He thought about denying but he didn't know how long the guy had been standing there and it would have made a bigger deal out of it. “Well, Mr Winchester, I was first planning on solving an unsolvable math problem but it would have been too much Good Will Hunting. This is more an homage than a plagiat. And I also happen to like the professors over there, while Professor Crowley's a big dick – with a very small, actual dick – , who can only get off while looking into a mirror. If you wanted to have the honor to destroy his ego a bit, I could restore the board.”  
He had probably overdone it with that. Winchester first turned white than red. He opened his mouth and closed it again but no sound came out.  
Gabriel watched it for a few moments, then he offered him a candy bar. He really didn't want to be the one to break Sam Winchester. He was still hoping that the guy would do an other show. “Hey, breath, pal. If good ole me can break you, Crowley might eat you and spit you out and then take a shit on you. Have seen it, ain't that pretty.”  
Winchester took the candy, bit in it and then he looked at the board again and then at Gabriel. He didn't seem like he knew what to do with himself.  
Gabriel wanted to roll his eyes at himself. Really. This was something that could just happen to him and he knew it. He met Sam Winchester in a deserted floor, impressed him with his mad skills and rendered him speechless.  
“Breath, kiddo. You probably had classes on that, you know the drill. I don't want to be lynched by a bunch of teenage girls.”  
That made him smile. “Huh. Yeah, that would be...”  
“Not as awesome a death as one might think. I mean, give me a bunch of hot chicks but please make them of consenting age and no virgins. Sparkle, sparkle, pony. Jailbait is never worth it aaaaaand you're looking at me with the eyes that say: Too much information dude, shut up. Believe me: Were we talking about the Good Sex, capitals deserved, you'd want the details.”

Sam stared at him, blinked and finally shook his head, chuckled and then smiled at him. “So, you know who I am. Who are you? The helpful ghost of languages long gone?”  
“More like cleaning zombie.” He bowed. “Assistant janitor, at your service.”  
“And what are you studying?” Sam came closer, looking at the board. “Medicine? You got the arrogance for it.”  
“Just working.” When Sam shot him a look, he shrugged. “Parents were catholic nuts, what can I say. I am good at Latin and Greek and I like to make that dick squirm. But I was never the material to go to college for something other than cleaning it up and sneak in on frat parties.”  
“Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to...it's just.... You're really good at this and I...suck.”  
He should choose his words better. Gabriel leered and then laughed, when Sam blushed and snapped at him. “Oh shut up. It's... I'd need someone to teach me though. Professor Crowley is...he didn't seem to like me very much in the first class.”  
“Mr Winchester.”, Gabe said, made his voice low and a bit sexual. “Our new...celebrity.”  
“It was more Voldemort tha -”  
“DUDE! DON'T SAY THE NAME! TABOOOOOO!”  
“Alright. It was more Ralph Fiennes than Alan Rickman.” Sam smiled and shook his head. “Alright. What I wanted to say was: Would you be available as a teacher?”  
Teaching Sam Winchester Latin. It sounded like a pretty cool way to get some money but on the other hand... People would notice. He would become kind of the Latin Yoda and he really didn't want people to notice him. The uniform was his invisible cloak.  
He shook his head. “Sorry, pal. No can do. Everyone would want to and I would miss the rerun of Gilmore Girls and where would we be then?”  
“Disaster.”  
“War.”  
“Apocalypse.”  
“Catholic household. We don't joke about the apocalypse.” Gabriel poked his tongue at him. But well, he really didn't joke 'bout that. He had that nightmare with Lucifer and Micheal fighting each other, wings on their backs, the world burning beneath their feet. Sometimes the nightmare felt so real, that he could taste ash and blood on his mouth the whole following day. 

Sam grinned and shook his head. “You remind me of my brother. I don't know whether or not that's a good thing. So, I know that you already know who I am, but I like to do this proper: Hi. I'm Sam Winchester.”  
Gabriel shook his hand and bowed like a real gentleman out of a costume drama. “Nice to meet you, Mr Winchester. Loki Trickster.”  
“You're kidding me.”  
“No-pe.” His grin was hurting his face. “And I sleep on the couch of a guy called Odin.”  
He made him laugh again, of course he did. 'cause he was fabulous and they all knew where this would end. “You know, I am straight but you're actually on my list of dudes I'd do, so if you're up to it...”  
And there he went, Winchester was beet red, his hair would start to get red soon too. Gabriel laughed at him. “Awwwh, sweet Sam. No need to tell me now. I'll be here till you're finished with school. And then till the end of time probably, helping poor students with Latin.”  
“You're a dick.” It would have had more impact, had Sam not blushed all over. Gabriel liked that blush.  
Sam's mobile ringed and with that it was over. He apologized with a look and then he was gone, chatting away with 'Hey Dean, just...yeah, yeah, I KNOW, alright?'.  
Brothers. So freaking adorable. Gabriel watched him walking away and then finished up. He sang 'Soul Sister' all the time, just so it was too loud to think about brothers, about the safety of rules, the warmth of a body you knew better than your favorite teddy bear.  
At home he layed down on the couch, got his laptop, his good friends Ben and Jerry and then watched Sherlock just so he didn't think about brothers.

***

“Hey, Loki! Wait up!” Sam had a hand raised and jogged over to where he was standing. Gabriel should have frowned, because he was on his way to the lockers, he was on his way to change into streetwear and meet up with Odin. Benny and Bobby were coming over for a nice round of poker and that was just a good evening. Gabriel always made cake or cookies or just something sweet and then he indulged his sweet tooth, joked with the guys who were all much older than him and let him know it and...yeah. It was like family. It was the closest he got and even though they would all kill him for comparing the elite Milton brothers with a bunch of freaking hillbillies with parents from Norway or Sweden or where the heck crazy guys with axes came from... They burbed, they drank beer, they laughed at the little kid who would eat sugar raw.  
Gabriel was looking forward to it and even though he liked Sam, he just couldn't answer the kids questions now.  
Somehow he had become the Latin teacher. And the teacher for everything else, because sometimes he wanted to know stuff about history or politics and Gabriel had not been able to NOT keep knowing about what was going on, reading three newspapers and so on. It was burnt into him too much.  
But well. He had a soft spot for the guy. And he loved being at Sam's place. Sam and Dean were bickering all the time, but there was love there and the easiness that just brothers shared with each other. Gabriel wanted to live in that place and try to pretend that... He didn't even know. That it was how it had been when he had been, really, really small. When Lucy and Michael had still loved each other, had just been bickering harmlessly and sometimes fought like the boys they were.  
But now Sam wasn't alone. There was a girl with him, holding his hand. Young, sweet love. 

It was a pretty girl. Young and blond and a cheeky grin. She was probably a wild beast in the sack. Good for Sam.  
“Sammy-Oh, even though I'd always be open for a threesome, I do have plans for the evening.”  
Sam went red, just again and the woman snorted. She put her nose high in the air and then she put herself in front of Sam, protecting him. She offered her hand. “Meg. Meg Marsters.”  
“Loki. Loki Trickster.”  
“I am aware.” The smirk grew. “Sam is smitten with you.”  
“Be still, my heart.” Gabriel pressed a hand on his chest. He looked the girl over once again. She was feisty, arrogant with an ease to it that made everything look elegant. She was well bred. Gabriel looked her over but didn't notice the pin anywhere. Not a part of purgatory then. Very well.  
He stood a bit more at ease after that realization. It didn't matter though. Meg Marsters surely belonged somehow to a world, that Gabriel didn't want to touch.  
“So...no threesomes?”  
“I do not touch dirty things.”  
“Meg!”  
“Uh, don't chastise her Sammy. At least not here, that belongs in the bedroom. Or the kitchen. And Sweetheart – I am all the good kinds of dirty.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.  
Sam stuttered something, while Miss Marsters just snorted and took his arm in a very possessive way. Charming.  
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Samsquatch – tell me what I can do for you, so your girl can have a shower and get the stink of underclass off.”  
“She just... Meg could you wait over there for me? Please?” He showed the puppy eyes, full force. Marsters didn't seem that impressed but she sighed, patted his cheek and then went a few feet away, playing a game on her mobile. Yes, she was like all the girls, Gabe had known as a kid. The punky version, sure, but well. At heart they all were the same bitch. 

“She's cute.”, he said, because he wasn't going to tell Sam who to date. He had a brother for that. “Snobby and bossy, but well. She'll make you like it.”  
“LOKI!”  
“Sorry Samsquatch. It's just... Rich people. They give me the hiwwis. Not you, though. You are...well, you are a cutie-pie. You are okay for a rich, spoiled brat.”  
“You are the spoiled brat.” Sam grinned down at him and then looked over to Marsters. “She's really nice, you know? Just... She needs to warm up to you.”  
Yeah. Gabriel didn't think so. He really, really didn't. He shook his head. “You wanted something Sammy. I actually do have stuff to do beside looking at your pretty face. Even janitors have a life.”  
“Yes, sorry, I didn't mean to imply... Sorry. It's just... I wanted to know whether or not there was the possibility to block mails or...”  
“Having problems with a stalker, Sammy?”  
Gabriel hummed in sympathy when the boy nodded, looking a bit sheepish.  
“Not really a stalker. It's just... There's this guy who wants me in his club or whatever and... He's... He threatened Dean once. Well. Not really, but... It sounded like that. To Dean, I mean, he sometimes gets stuff wrong like that, but... I'm just worried, you know? He sent me flowers once and...Yes, yes, yes I think he wants to sleep with me, don't smirk, alright?”  
“He wants you in his little club...” Gabriel _did_ smirk but then he waved his hand. “Yeah, sure. I'll speak with my buddies at the post office, look into it and the whole security shenanigans. You know me. Everyone loves me. Even you, Samsquatch.”  
“Thank you.” The boy nodded, hugged him shortly and then jogged over to his girl.  
Crazy youths. Gabriel shook his head. He knew how to fly low and how to get away from people with clubs. He'd help Sammyboy. Maybe he'd even find him a better girlfriend.

***

She called him later that night, when she was alone. She played with the pin she kept in her pocket.  
When he answered the call, a shiver went down her spine. There was nothing she wouldn't do for that man, for her leader, father, lover.  
He wanted Sam Winchester. She didn't understand that wish. He couldn't want they boy for himself. He was such a puppy but well. Maybe he wanted him because of publicity. The boy would be good for that. He was charismatic in a young, innocent way. So not her style. And the _friends_ he kept... Dirty, disgusting, low level. She hoped that they would get rid of that little shit of a janitor. Maybe HE would let her do it. She'd love slitting open the throat of that man. 

“I have him. He's head over heels for me.”  
“No surprise there. You can be very charming, my dear.” His voice was like candy, his approval made it thick and heady. Meg smiled, her fingers curling around the phone.  
“Can you lead him the right way?”  
“I will. It won't take long, but...”  
“But?” The approval was gone. She hated it when that happened. It made everything cold inside her. She curled around the phone, trying to protect the approval from before, the nice feeling.  
“Nothing much, nothing to worry about. It's just that he befriended a... _janitor_.” Meg hated even the word. Such people shouldn't speak with people like her or even Sam.  
“...that speaks of lack of taste. I fail to see the problem though.”  
“He's intelligent, that one.” Meg hated to give the man that but she knew it for a fact. “He made some calls yesterday. Just to make sure, that Sam didn't get any mail he didn't want but he came very close to uncovering that I was the one to get the flowers inside.” She had had to flirt with the guy at the gates a great deal to keep that secret. She had seen the look on Loki's face though: The man was curious and found the whole manner suspicious.  
“We'll proceed as planned. I'll take a look at that janitor myself.”  
Meg waited for a moment, then whispered into the phone: “I could just get rid of him. I'd do it for you.”  
On the other side of the line, Lucifer chuckled. “Well. I am sure that will be a sight to behold. Just wait. I'll decide whether or not that might be prudent. You are always so eager.”  
“Just for you.”  
“Oh, I know. That's what makes you precious.”

She ended the call, glowing with the words. When she fell asleep, she imagined the janitor's blood on her hands and Lucifer's voice near her ear. _Precious._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think. On top of that: Tell me if you have any evil ideas for Lucy. I do have some of my own, but you can never have enough inspiration. ;) I also don't know wether or not I wand a side-pairing in this thing or not (I don't count Meg/Sam. Not yet anyhow.)


	3. Something fruity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou shows up but the meeting isn't like Gabriel expected it to be. Not at all.

Gabriel didn't style up before he went to the party. He never did. Without his uniform he was never recognized as the janitor anyhow. And he really did like the college girls and they liked him in his old jeans and beaten jacket. He didn't look rich in any way but he still had his arrogance that made him belong. Chicks loved a guy with lots of arrogance. Lucy had taught him that and he had taught him well. The difference was, that Gabriel actually liked the girls and women. Lucy had just distaste for them Gabriel was pretty sure that he hated having to have intercourse. Gabriel asumed that he enjoyed to belittle them, to dominate. Gabriel tried to remember that because it wasn't something that endeared a person to one but it just... Any time he was close to distasting Lou for it he remembered that Lou was...he was wonderful. He was intelligent and caring and Gabriel himself, he would have hated for any woman to be cared for by Lou.   
  
He cared just for family and that was...that was nice in some ways.  
  
Well. Now was not the time to think about Lou or Michael – Lord! Michael had been so angry when Lou and Gabe had come back from that one party where Gabriel had lost his virginity. Lucifer had taken Gabe there. Gabriel had been 13, much too young for any kind of party. But Lucifer had dressed him up, so he had seemed older. Gabriel still remembered that evening in every detail. They had been on that party and Lou had given Gabriel drinks. He had been slightly drunk and then there was that girl. She had been 16 and sweet and drunk and young. She had sat down on Gabriel's lap and he had looked over her shoulder. The girl had been biting and licking his ear, murmerin drunken nothings. She had never noticed Lou who had leaned against the wall, so that Gabriel had been able to see him. Lou had smiled the whole time, his eyes dark. He had mouthed what Gabriel should do. Touch her there, do this, that, lower, higher, yeah, _see_?  
  
Gabriel was nearly sure that that had not been okay. Or normal. But well. The Miltons had never been normal, that much was for sure. And even though it felt a bit wrong it also...didn't. It had been Lou.  
  
Gabriel poked his own arm. Yeah, creepy family was creepy. That was nothing that he should think about right now. He should never think about that. Fuck, he KNEW that that hadn't been freaking normal or okay. It had been Lou beeing a creepy shit and Gabriel liking it because he hadn't known it better and because it had been Lou and Lou could have killed someone in front of him and Gabe would have still kissed the ground he walked on.  
  
You could hear the party from the other side of the campus. Gabriel grinned and forgot for one moment all that was Milton.  
  
It was a party like so many else. There had been lots of parties like it before and there would be many, many parties just like that to come. Gabriel let himself be drawn inside. In a few years he would be too old for this but not yet.  
There was a lot of booze and a few couples making out against the wall. Gabriel spotted Sam on a couch, obviously not in his element, fidgeting and nursing a drink that was probably as virgin as they came.  
  
Gabe looked around and yep: Dean-Oh was having some action just a room away. There were a lot of girl giggling, thinking about going over to SAM WINCHESTER. Sam really should have Meg there. She needed to piss on him, just so the others would back off. Oh well. If she wasn't there doing it, Gabriel would do it. Well. Not pissing in a literal sense and he wouldn't suck faces with him, because, well... Guy. Gabriel joked about stuff like that, but he just knew what Michael would say and he wouldn't survive the shame, the feeling of wrongness.  
  
So, as some kind of compromise, he just let himself fall on the couch beside Sam. “Sammy, you look like the definition of a party pooper.”  
“Thanks, Trickster.”  
“Always. What's ya poison? Cranberry juice?”  
“No.” Sam sipped and kept the drink out of Gabe's reach. He had learnt out of old mistakes. “Meg should be here any minute. Her sister wanted to come.”  
  
Gabriel patted his his leg and then urged him on, till Sam told him a story about Dean. An other party, an other pretty girl and Sam just in one corner unknown at that moment. He had been awkward as hell and later Dean had told him that he should try to be more of a Winchester.  
“More of a Winchester?” Gabriel laughed. “What? Were all the Winchesters great Casanovas? Did your daddy party harder than anyone has ever partied before?”  
  
“No.” Sam laughed. “Oh Lord, no. Ahm...I guess... See, we are descendants of THE Winchester. And then we had a lot of soldiers in our lines. I mean...A LOT. And some academics, professors but we were all into war, so to speak. I am the first Winchester ever who has not served in the army. I'll be part of JAG one day. It's the only way they let me study law.”  
Gabriel's heart was beating faster now. “Huh. That's quite the legacy.”  
“Yeah. A curse. Worse than GG getting as big as it did.”  
Gabriel hummed. “Just you would talk about the chance to score every hot chick under 25 a bad fate, Sammy-Boy.” Fuck. This was... Why hadn't Gabriel known about that? That was...that was so not good, that was... And there was someone who wanted Sammy for some kind of club. Or a cult.  
  
FUCK.  
  
Gabe looked around, wanted to sit up and run away, get his stuff or leave it, just -  
“Oh, Meg's here!”  
Yeah. Meg was there. She stood there, beside a tall woman. The woman wasn't gorgeous, not really. She wasn't even pretty. But she had that fierce look, the posture of a warrior, a ruler. And beside her, an arm around her waist, stood Lucifer. He looked better, than in TV. He looked all grown up, with hard edges and cold-warm eyes. He looked over, looked at them both. Meg was pointing and saying something and Lou just nodded. They trailed over. Gabe just sat there, totally still. He was a rabbit, spotting a fox with a snake on top.  
  
“She's got company.”, Gabriel muttered. Lucifer didn't look at him. His eyes were fixated on Sam.  
  
Gabriel stayed, while Lucifer and the girls came closer. Lucifer and the woman sat down on the chairs opposite the couch, while Meg sat on Sam's lap.  
“Mr Winchester.” Lucifer smiled, as charismatic as they came. “I am sorry, I didn't know that you were the young man Meg was speaking about. It is my understanding, that you did not like my way of...pursuing you. I can be rather pushy and I sincerely apologize for any discomfort I may have caused you. I can leave right now, should you wish so.”  
  
“Ahm...” Sam stared at him. Sam, the guy who had called Lucifer a stalker a few hours before, looked baffled and not so sure wether or not he wanted Lucifer to go. Meg poked his side. Sam flinched. “No...no, of course not. I may have...overreacted.” He didn't sound so sure.  
“Very gracious of you. You have my thanks.”  
“Ahm...no, no, it's cool.”  
  
It's cool... Gabriel wanted to scream. This wasn't cool. This was... Gabriel wasn't even shivering. He kept totally still, hoping that he wouldn't be noticed as long as he did and...well. He wasn't. Noticed. Lucifer didn't look at him, not even once. He was playing with _Lillith's_ hand – what kind of name was Lillith? Really, Lou? – and speaking with Sam. It was highly intelligent conversation, getting more and more complex. Sam got intrigued, it was eery to watch. He was concentrating more and more, he was straining for witty answers and smiling whenever Lucifer made it known that he thought something intelligent that Sam said.  
  
Lucifer smiled like the cat that had gotten the cream. It was that small twitching in the corners of the mouth. Gabriel remembered that smile. He had lived for that smile. And now he was sitting beside Sam Winchester with his perfect hair and perfect heritage and a good mind and that tad bit of arrogance that Lou had always digged more than anything else.  
Well. He had liked his family more. He would have never... Gabriel was sitting right here. Lou had thought him dead for 10 years and now he was here and all he was interested in was Sam.  
  
Gabriel bit his lip, crossed his arms. He was fidgeting and he knew it, but it was just... What was Lucifer's game here?  
  
“Oh come on, that's bullshit.” Gabriel flinched, when everyone turned their heads. Lucifer was kissing Lillith's fingertips while he focused in on Gabe. Gabriel shrugged, pulled the legs up and hugged them. “Goethe might have been good at writing but he wasn't a genius in every aspect. His work about color and light? SUCKED! He thought he would be famous for that and who has heard about that? Not a lot of people, let me tell you that. I didn't even like his ideas about morals and what people should be. He was an emo when he had something to say and a narcistic old fuck when he published his later work, always comparing his dick to that of Schiller.”  
Sam was blinking. He had no idea about classic German authors but then again, who had?  
Lucifer's lips did not curl. He wasn't proud of him, he wasn't impressed. He had that twitching in his eye that told him that he was irritated.  
“Interesting. You are a friend of Sam's?”  
“Yes. Loki.”, offered Sam while Gabe was just staring at Lucifer.  
“The janitor.”, chipped Meg in, distaste clear in her voice.  
“Ah.” It was a dismissive sound. “Quite interesting. Personally I always enjoyed Goethe's approach to science if not the outcome. Sam, did you know -”  
  
And that was that. Gabriel was forgotten once again. He sat there, silent and still. He wasn't interesting. He wasn't part of that conversation.  
  
He had been so afraid of ever meeting his brothers again. Seems that that had been stupid of him. Of course. Lucifer had had enough on his plate. It had been 10 years. Gabriel was looking like a poor, beat up guy. Lucifer wasn't giving him a second look and he was older. 10 years older. Maybe that was enough. It seemed like it. Lucifer didn't recognize him. His own brother didn't recognize him. He didn't care for him, for the person he was now and it seemed like Gabriel had been long forgotten.  
  
He didn't know how he got through the evening. Lucifer was chatting with Sam and he was _petting_ Lillith the whole time. His thumb was drawing circles on her hand or he played with the hair in her neck. Gabriel wanted to rip her head of. There were times when he wanted to punch Sam but he knew that Sam was just a job. A few weeks and Sam would be all Lucifer's, an asset, something to use, something with a prize tag.  
  
Like Gabriel had been.  
  
He remembered the smell. Caramel and cigarettes. A warming presence, whenever he was afraid. Any night he had been shivering, miserable, Lucifer had been there, an angel. Lucifer had told him, that he was special and good and bright. Lou had taken him to the movies once. Gabriel and Lucifer had had popcorn and nachos and a back full of chocolates. It had been way too much but Lucifer had laughed and said that he should always have everything he wanted.  
Well. Apart from Charlotte Reid. She had been a girl he met in the park when he had been 7 years old. He had been smitten with her. She had been cute and funny and she had shared her chocolates with him. She had been the child of one of the gardeners. She had kissed his cheek and he had liked it, he had been glowing with it. But Lucifer had told him that he could never be with someone that low, that he shouldn't let himself be touched by someone like that. Lucifer had licked over his whole face, had licked it for half an hour, till there had been no trace of 'lowlife' anymore.  
  
Gabriel remembered that day, the possessiveness of it. He remembered being the center of Lou's world, just for that half hour. A precious thing to be kept.  
Not any more. The moment he seemed dirty himself, low, Lucifer wasn't able to see him. He had said once, that he was the one who loved _him_ , not the idea of what he should be.  
  
_Lies._  
  
Gabriel deflated, thinking that, feeling it rumbling in his chest. After a while, he stood up, put a hand on Sam's shoulder. “Hey. I'm going home now. I'll call you tomorrow, Samsquatch. Heading home for now.” He was repeating himself. That never was a good sign, but only people who knew him very well would recognize that. Sammy and him...well. They were practically strangers.  
“Yeah, sure.” Sam looked startled and then there was a flash of guilt. His hand circled his wrist. “Hey, you're...you okay? You don't look so good?”  
“It's just the meatballs.” Gabriel made a face. “'s alright, Samsquatch. Odin will be a fucking mother hen.”  
“Just marry him already.”  
“Uh, gross, dude!” Gabriel shuddered but grinned, feeling at least a bit lighter again. “Catch you later.”  
He walked out into the night and decided to eat ice cream till he puked and then eat some more. 

*~*~*

Lucifer was close to growling when that damn Winchester touched Gabriel, restrained him, hold his wrist. He wanted to rip them all apart, everyone who had had his little brother close in the 10 years he himself had thought him DEAD.  
Gabriel had made him believe that he was dead. He had run away. He had left.  
He had seen him there, just sitting on a couch like he had no care in the world. Lucifer had needed a few minutes to register what exactly Gabriel had been wearing. He was the janitor. A _janitor_. And a man fully grown. Well. He was still short. Delicate. Made to be protected, to be owned. Perfect in his own way but he was also oh so wrong in so many ways.  
Lucifer had lost any interest in Samuel Winchester when he had spotted his brother and then he had regained it, when he had remembered, that Winchester and _the janitor_ were friends. Gabriel had sat there looking more and more lonely, defiant and Winchester hadn't noticed anything. Lucifer noticed. He noticed everything. His little brother was in pain, more and more so. Lucifer wanted to hug him close, but that wasn't how they were going to do this.  
Gabriel had went away. Lucifer had been the center of his world and then he hadn't been. They would make that right again. If Gabriel thought he could have a better life without him, than he would teach him differently. He would correct this behavior and he would take what was _his_. 

_Winchester's fingers around Gabriel's wrist._

Lucifer's mouth curled downwards. He would destroy Loki Trickster. And he would destroy Sam Winchester out of principle.

_Odin...mother hen..._

An other name for the list. Lucifer was stretching, while he went into his apartment, Lillith trailing behind him. She put her gloves on the table and then sat down in an arm chair. “What happened?”, she asked. He had been overly affectionate today, had searched physical contact which wasn't a thing he normally did. They had fucked, once or twice but Lucifer hadn't find it very amusing. She was beautiful of course. But she just hadn't been perfect. He had always known, that she was pure and good but well. She hadn't been good enough. He had felt the urge to throw her away when she had been lying underneath him. He didn't understand what people thought about sex most of the time. It was undignified and his disgust for it had only grown over the years.  
“Loki Trickster happened.”  
“The janitor?” Lillith's eyebrow rose. “Didn't know about that kink of yours. Or are you siding with Meg on this? Are you against the way he's befriending people with a better breeding?”  
“There's no one with a better breeding.” Lucifer smirked and then opened his laptop to start on his new little project. 

*** 

The cameras got every point of view in the little apartment. The couch Gabriel was sleeping on, a pile of books hidden underneath, like his intelligence and taste were something to be ashamed of. The apartment belonged to a man named Odin Svenson. He was nearly 60 years old and had worked as a janitor since he had moved here. He was a lowlife as bad as they came. He had no class and the jokes he cracked with Gabriel were vulgar and not pretty witty.  
Lucifer leaned back and watched Gabriel sprawling on the couch. He SLEPT on that couch. He couldn't sleep when Odin had pals over, drinking, watching a game. Gabriel had always hated hockey and he then curled up in a corner of the kitchen and read a book.  
This just wouldn't do.  
Now Odin was in bed already and Gabriel was stretching on the couch, eating ice cream out of the box. He used his fingers for it, like he were a small kid, indulging himself when the parents were out of the house. He licked and sucked the cream of his fingers while he watched a rerun of The Count of Monte Cristo.  
Lucifer watched that, watched that display. He cocked his head. His pants were starting to tent lightly. He remembered the warmth that Gabriel was always putting out. He had been a human furnace. His mouth was probably burning marks every time he was kissing someones skin like Lucifer had taught him that. He remembered Gabriel back then, in the middle of his first time, his eyes never leaving Lucifer.  
Gabriel yawned, scratched his neck and then giggled at something on the screen. He sucked on his fingers. His lips were round and pouty, his hair longer than Michael had ever allowed it to become. It was a good look on him.  
Lucifer put a hand on his crotch. It gave a little twitch, when Gabriel was stretching again.  
“Interesting.” Lucifer smiled at the monitor. “We're gonna have so much fun, little brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Gabriel's found and doesn't even know yet how fucked he is. Lou's got some plans, disaster is looming at the horizon...  
> And Dean's just someone who gets mentioned. I don't know how much screentime he's going to get, honestly. I have some vague idea about him and Michael becoming bros but we'll see.  
> Hope you liked the chapter. :) (They're coming faster than I anticipated. It's the devil on my shoulder, whispering about it nonstop.(


	4. Beer and salt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Sam's birthday and Gabriel has to attend, as does Lucifer. Gabriel would enjoy the whole thing a lot more, wouldn't everyone assume him to be pining after Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter, where the incest and the dubcon starts! I wrote a more detailed description in the end notes, so check it out if there might be anything you really don't want to read.

“You'll be there, right?”  
Sam sounded so hopeful. Gabriel was damning him and his fucked up puppy eyes to next week and back. He sighed. “I don't know, Samsquatch. 'm feeling a bit under the weather lately, I'd bee a total party pooper. Guess you'll have a big party, won't notice my absence, will ya?”  
“Not so big, no.” He sounded reluctant. He probably didn't want to give anything up. Gabe could imagine him, standing there, tall as a mountain and shuffling around.   
Gabe put a splash of pancake butter in the pan. Odin was sprawled out on the kitchen chair, reading the paper. The old man looked at him for one moment. It was obvious what he thought and then he did made it even more obvious by making kissing noises.   
“Not so big as in...”  
“As in just Dean, Meg, Lou and you.”   
Gabe watched the pancake burn. He felt like he couldn't move for the love of God and he did nothing, when Odin started to curse and push him to the side. The old man would never let good food go to waste. As long as he didn't try to flip them (a task that got apparently very difficult with just one eye) he was good.   
Gabriel surely had other things on his mind. Mainly, that Lucifer would be at Sam's birthday party and he would be there without _the woman_. He still hated her stupid face and he knew that it wasn't her fault but she was a favorite of his brother so she likely did deserve being called a bitch. He never had any nice people around himself. Well. Apart from Sam but he would likely mold Sam into just an other elitist asshole. Gabriel just waited for the day that Sam wouldn't be able to socialize with a lowlife like himself any more.   
That day wasn't here yet apparently. Because Gabriel was invited. He was invited and Lou would be there and that really shouldn't feel as bittersweet as it did. Lou didn't recognize him. There would be no hugs, no praise, no nothing. There probably wouldn't even be any words directed at him.   
But Gabriel might be able to look. He might be able to watch Lou up close, get a whiff of his smell. He might pretend in his head, just for a little time.   
As a matter of fact, it was a terrible idea and it would just hurt him more in the long run. Gabriel knew that. He knew that like he knew that chocolate was bad for you but he just couldn't make himself care. He deserved that treat. It was his brother and he wanted to be near him for as long as he could.   
“That Lucifer-fellow is dangerous, Sam. You know that, right?” He had the obligation to warn Sam. Maybe he would be able to rescue him.   
“I don't think so.”   
Ah, well. He had tried. Gabriel should do more, he knew that, but well. This was not his fight. He had left this fight loooooong ago. He wouldn't get dragged back in, just because he had a thing for big, sad eyes. He wasn't in this. He wasn't Sam's keeper.   
“You thought him a stalker, Sammy.”  
“Don't call me Sammy. And I had the wrong impression, alright? He was a very nice guy on the party and Meg likes him.   
_Meg's a shark. And she's his groupie and would fuck him, were he into her at least a little._  
He doesn't say it because it wouldn't be fair and because Sam might get to that conclusion himself at one point. He's a bright boy and Gabriel shouldn't be so condescending. He wasn't the guy's only hope to get out of Lucifer's claws.   
“Whatever dude.”  
“So. You'll be there?”   
Damn, he sounded so fucking hopeful. It had not been a good idea to get attached to the guy. It was worse than having a puppy.   
He sighed. “Yeah, sure. Wouldn't miss it for the world kiddo, as long as you're sure you want me there. It won't be the end of the world for me to give you your cake later.”  
“The cake is a lie. Stop fishing for compliments.”  
“First you will be baked, than there will be cake.”  
“Get back to testing, Glados.”  
“Go loosing some pounds.” He just switched off the phone than. Portal jokes were as good as a real 'Good Bye'.   
Gabriel watched Odin finishing up the pancakes. When he got his own pile, he drowned them in syrup and sprinkles. The sweetness calmed him a bit. He would be alright.   
“Sam invited me over for this birthday.”  
Odin nodded. “Cool.”  
“Cool? Really? Old man, you saying cool is destroying my world view. What's going on? Ragnarok? Do I have to get my ship made of toe nails?”  
The old man snorted. He ate his pancakes with bacon and pepper. It was disgusting but well. Whatever kept the old machine pumping.   
“You fucking him?”  
Gabe spit his pancake over the table. It wasn't so much the actual words, it was more that Odin was saying them Odin took no interest what so ever in Gabriel's life, who he was meeting, fucking... Gabriel could have fucked a horse and Odin wouldn't have cared. Well. As long as he didn't do Kali and Gabriel never understood what was Odin's problem with that.   
“Ahm...no? Odin, pal, I'm not into guys and Sam's like 12 years old.”  
Odin nodded.   
There was silence, apart from their munching for the next few minutes. Sometimes Odin needed time. He was an old chap, after all and he couldn't be bothered to hurry up. He was always thinking and he deemed himself wise. Gabriel wasn't so sure about that but he had learnt, that little chats with Odin might take a while. Days on some memorable occasions. Gabriel still wasn't sure that they were finished with the discussion about the vikings from five years ago.   
But this time, Gabe felt idgy and he couldn't wait it out. “You know I'd go for you, Mr Silverfox, were I into cock.”  
“Oh little boy.” Odin chuckled, this low sound in a voice that had long ago been destroyed by alcohol and cigarets. That had been the smell that had made Gabriel trust him the first time they met: The honey sweet smell of Met, tinged with smoke. “You wouldn't know what to do with me.” He took a sip out of the bottle that somehow was always near him. The poison of the week was whiskey. “I don't care one way or the other. But you've been miserable. Something's making you ill, unhappy so I'll just say it once and clear: Cut it off.”  
“I'm always unhappy, old man.”  
“That's not true.” Odin put a hand on his head. “I know you _feel_ like you should be unhappy for whatever crap has happened in your past, but you've been here for a few year now and I do know you. You became better. You're smiling and you're feeling content most of the time. Longing and nostalgic maybe too, yes. But a few more years and it would have been well. And now you're looking lik yer goin' t' cut yer wrists. I don't need no blood spills on my floors, understand that?”  
“I understand.” And he did and he did not. Odin was a hard nut to crack, even harder when you were sure that the old guy did like you. Gabriel wasn't sure. He could not be sure, not really, but he felt like Odin really did care for him. There was still something in the back of his neck. Something told him that Odin just liked the perception of him, that he wouldn't like _Gabriel_.  
“Try, boy.” Odin slapped the back of his head and then hugged him with one arm. “It's time. Let it go, whatever it is.”  
Gabriel breathed in and out. He remembered Lucifer and he breathed in the smell of cigarettes.   
“I'll try.”

*~*~*

Lucifer put up a picture of Odin to throw darts at. His aim improved rapidly.

*~*~*

The party wasn't half that bad. Lucifer ignored him, but he had known that that would happen. Meg wasn't that bad either. Not for the moment. They didn't talk that much but Meg didn't try to pry his eyes out, every time he was near Sam, touching him. The reason for that was plain to see: She was trying to woo Lucifer, get in his good graces and pants. Lilith wasn't there, so maybe she thought she had a shot. Maybe she had.  
Gabriel watched them and Sam watched them too.   
When Meg sat down at Lucifers feet, who was telling a story, his whiskey in hand, Gabe stood up and went into the kitchen. He didn't need to see that or the hurt puppy look in Sam's eyes. He was also pretty close to screaming at Lucifer that he was right there and that he deserved to be noticed, to be cherished. He was his brother, he deserved his appreciating looks and hums, he deserved what Sam got from him and he deserved to sit close like Meg and breathe him in! Fuck it, why did he have to sound like a pathetic little puppy in his own head?  
He didn't think it would be half as bad had he gotten ANYTHING from Lucifer. But this just was...it was killing him. He was close to put out his rich kid persona, everything he knew Lucifer liked, just to get one smile, one look.   
Dean came into the kitchen, got a beer to nurse and passed one to Gabriel, who had propped himself up on the counter. They hadn't talked much till now. Dean seemed like an okay guy but he was also gruffy and a joker as some kind of coping mechanism. It was too close to Gabriel himself, so he had decided to stay away from him. Dean seemed to have to come to the same conclusion. Till now.   
“So.”, Dean looked at him, nipping at his beer. “I'm not sure you should but when are you gonna make a move?”  
“Move?” Gabriel looked at him. “On whom? The blond crocodile? Waiting for her to do TicToc noises.” Meg was the only girl there today. Or did Dean think him gay? Did he think that he was going to smooch up to Sammy like Odin was thinking? Fuck, he shouldn't have such a fabulous taste, it gave people ideas.  
“Would be glad 'bout it, but no.” Dean shot him a look like he was ridiculous. “You don't even notice, do you? How you're looking at him?”  
“....no?” What the fuck? He was pretty sure that he hadn't looked at Sammy all that much at all. He couldn't even tell what the guy was wearing today.  
Dean huffed. “You're ridiculous. And I'm really not into giving people like you the talk 'bout bees and...bees. Geez. Just don't do anything here and don't forget that he has a girlfriend. Sam maker her sound like she might kill ya in yer sleep or push a piano on your head.”  
Gabriel was quiet for a few moments. “Dude...you think I'm into _Lucifer_?”   
What the actual fuck? He couldn't tell Dean why that was just...uck...but...oh well. There were reasons he might be able to give, that were there all the same. “He's like a billion years old. He's a racist and an elitist. He has a cock. He drinks unsweetened fruit tea. He smokes like 2000 cigarettes a day. He can't dance for the life of him and...” And he likes 'Alice in Wonderland', actually _enjoys_ watching baseball and he can't keep his mouth shut during political discussions but comments them like other people do with football or soccer. Fuck it, Lucifer was perfect and the smug bastard _knew_ it. But he was a guy and he was Gabriel's brother so that had never been a question. He looked at the kitchen door. Lucifer was his brother, so he had never even thought about it. Lucifer having sex, that was probably... Well. Gabriel bet that his brother was bossy, getting off on someone doing everything he was asking. Sex with Lucifer was probably all about perfection, like someone was there judging, taking scores.   
Nope. Not something he wanted to imagine. Deeeeefinetly not. It was bad enough, that he always looked to the corner of a room when he had sex himself, imagining Lucifer standing there and watching, telling him with signs and lips what to do.   
“I do like breasts and softness.”  
“Whatever, dude.” Dean huffed.   
_He's my brother! I just want BROTHERLY affection, you moron!_  
Gabe huffed himself. “I really need to get myself an energetic fuck buddy.” A young one with big big boobs and... Oh hell. For the moment he really needed something stronger than a beer. 

*~*~*~*

Gabriel didn't know what had been in that beer that had waited for him on the table but it had been goddamn effective. He was close to slurring in his head. Instead he was waying for and back. He sat close to Lucifer who was still ignoring him. Bastard. But he had went out to take a smoke earlier and he was smelling of cigarettes and caramel and like you could eat him up.   
He felt so dizzy and was thinking about licking Lucifer's neck because it had to taste like caramel and caramel was gooood.   
He kept himself in check. He deserved a freaking medal. Maybe he didn't need to. Lucy wouldn't even notice should Gabe lick his neck. He didn't notice aaaaaaaanything about him. It was freaking impolite.   
They were talking, Lucifer and Sam, discussing stuff. Dean chipped in sometimes and after a while, Gabriel noticed that Dean was saying stuff that made Lucifer scrunch his forehead. Gabriel made point to listen this time.   
Maybe Gabriel should side with Dean, just out of spite.   
Lucifer wouldn't like that. He would ignore him more.   
Gabriel didn't want that. Gabriel wanted him to like him again, notice him, snuggle him close. He wanted to be cuddled.   
“Shuddup Dean.” He mumbled it, but everyone stopped and looked at him. So he blinked and waved with a hand. “People who can make it will make it.”   
“That cannot be what you really think.”  
“Sure is.” Gabriel rolled his eyes, put his legs up and hugged them. Something moved inside his belly feeling ugly. Dean and Sam were looking at him, eyebrows raised.   
“People are working to make things better for their kids. You get everyone the same opportunities, same schools, it just won't work out. Everyone can get everywhere. Might be harder for people lower in the pecking order, but if they don't lean to fight they won't survive the culture 'up' one way or the other. You have to be raised to be great or you have to fight to get there.”  
The Winchesters were looking at him like he had grown a second head.   
“Loki has a point.” Lucifer smiled at him, an honest to God smile and he put a hand on his neck, his fingers pressing just at the right points. Gabriel had really forgotten that he had had these points. He deflated and was close to mewing. He shouldn't be mewing. He shouldn't be so wasted, not on...what...one beer? That really didn't sound correct. He frowned. But Lucifer _liked_ him right now. It made him all dizzy and he thought that maybe he might get away with leaning in, _breathing_. He put his head on Lucifer's shoulder, sniffed, smelled him. He was so warm and his hand was still on his neck, just for a moment, before he put his arm on the back of the couch. That wasn't as good, but still pretty awesome.   
Lucifer went back to ignoring him, conversing with the brothers, but Gabriel was feeling good and content and still dizzy with the alcohol. He didn't care if he was talking shit. He would say anything, agreeing to anything, just so he wouldn't feel like shit again. Lucifer should look at him, notice him. Maybe he'd get a hug for something witty.  
He didn't know how much time was passing by. He was so dozy.   
“He's so wasted.” Dean's voice. Stupid voice. Just wanted Lucifer's voice.   
Sam was sighing. “I think we should just let him crash on the couch. Lou, you wanted to go, right?”  
“Yes.”  
“No...” Gabriel hugged Lucifer. That was his. His sugar-cigarette-pillow that was warm and like home. Lucifer chuckled, pinched his ear and got him upright. Lucifer stood up and Gabe leaned against his shoulder. Lucifer sighed. “I'll just get him back to his flat.”  
Yes, yes, yes, yes, that sounded very agreeable. He didn't listen to what they were talking about as long, as he could stay with Lucifer.   
Sam and Dean stood up, getting something, maybe coats or cake to take with them or something like that. Gabriel nuzzled closer and then Lucifer put that hand back on Gabriel's head. He played with the hair there and then he grabbed a hand full and pulled his head back.   
“Mhm-what?” He was puzzled. The neck was gone. He wanted back to the neck. His neck!   
“You'd do anything for a little bit of affection, right?”  
Gabriel wasn't so sure about that. Maybe? What might Lucifer want? “Mh-hm!” He grumbled and pulled closer again, buried his nose in his neck. Something was off, he knew it. Something was strange and just not good, but he couldn't be bothered. Lucifer was there. Lucy always made everything good again. He was his big brother. Gabriel was safe with him. 

*~*~*

Lucifer would have to keep the number of that little chemist. Gabriel was wonderfully out of it. It was a lot like back in the days when he had found the bottle with cough syrup and just drank the whole thing.  
They were sitting in the back of car. Mr Lafitte was sitting in the front, invisible behind the darkened glass and sure to not interrupt anything. He was a vulgar fellow but reliable.   
Gabriel had put his arms around his waist, mumbling softly. Lucifer was playing with his hair for a moment. He liked it this long. He'd have Gabriel keep it this way.  
“You have to go now.” He opened the door and pressed a hand against his brother's chest, ready to push him out into the cold.   
“Mhm-noooowwww...” Gabriel tried to snuggle up against him again, but Lucifer didn't let him now. Gabriel normally was less strong than him but now he was downright helpless, in mind and body. Gabriel looked up at him, his eyes big and puppy like. The raw need in his eyes made Lucifer smile and shift. There was a shiver going down, right to his dick.   
“You don't want to go, hm?”  
Gabriel shook his head.  
“You wanna be a good boy?”  
There was a frown on his forehead now.   
Lucifer leaned forward and whispered in his ear. “You want to be a good boy. _My_ good boy. Remember how good it was to just agree to me, to please me? It's easy: You're a good boy and I will treasure you. You want that, right?”   
“Yes.” He whispered it and Lucifer remembered the little boy he had once been, totally desperate for affection. He had always been easy as long as you knew where the buttons were. That was a reason why Lucifer would have to keep him away from the world.   
“I thought so.” He scratched Gabriel's head and started to open his trousers with his other hand.  
Gabriel stared down at his half erect cock. He swallowed. There was a frown on his forehead again, but he didn't try to get away from him, from the hand on his neck. “What...what are you doing?”   
“I was thinking about you blowing me.”   
There started to be horror on Gabriel's face and Lucifer grinned. He smelled deliciously when he was afraid. He smelled delicously, good enough to lick the sweat off of his skin.   
“Bu-” Gabriel frowned again. He looked down and up again. He was confused and scared. And he was looking at Lucifer for advice, for help. Lucifer knew that his grin turned feral.   
“You want to be my good boy. You do this good and I'll let you sleep here, keep you close...” He shrugged. “Or I could push you out into the street, forget about you right away again.”  
“No!” Gabriel whined and looked down again. “No...”   
Lucifer let him have his time. He was like back in the days, when he hadn't known yet whether or not he should skip school and go with Lucifer. It had taken some time for him to notice, that he should always do what Lucifer told him to do and that should damn well like it.   
“Lick your lips, precious.” He would make this easy on him. Just this once.   
Gabriel looked at him and then licked his lips.   
Lucifer pressed against his neck until Gabriel was kneeling between Lucifer's legs, his lips shiny, the eyes big and unsure and a bit dazed with the drug.   
He didn't open his mouth when Lou pressed the head of his cock against his lips. He was looking up at Lucifer, the eyes big.   
He sighed and leaned back, looked at the roof of the car, ignoring Gabriel. “Should have known that you would be useless. Just get out of the car, will you?”  
There was silence for a moment. Lucifer was looking at his hands, inspected his nails. He wanted to bury his fingers in Gabriel's flesh, but well. There would be a time for that.   
It took some time, Gabriel whining between his knees, trying to get his attention without doing what he obviously didn't want to do. Yet. Lucifer would teach him to be hungry for it.   
And then there were the lips again, just touching his dick. Gabriel breathed faster than normally. The warm huffs made Lucifer's cock twitch. And then Gabriel breathed in and opened his lips and leaned forward. It was just the head but he was making a sound in the back of his throat and Lucifer groaned. This was...well. Better than he had ever thought a sexual activity could be. He buried his fingers in Gabriel's hair and met his gaze. He gave Gabriel a smile, all warmth and affection. There was another sound in Gabriel's throat and Lucifer pushed forward, buried himself in that heat until he felt his little brother choking around it. He looked down, watching the tears getting in Gabriel's eyes and he waited till he knew that Gabriel had come to the conclusion, that he should really, really retreat _know_ and he petted his cheek with his thumb, put it on his lips, right where his cock was stretching it. “You're perfect.”, he murmered, using his deepest, roughest voice.  
Gabriel stilled. He looked up at him and then he retreated a bit, dragging his tongue over the vein.  
Lucifer buried his hands in Gabriel's hair. He dragged him away and then pushed up, burying himself ballsdeep again. There were tears in Gabriel's eyes and he made these whiney noises but he didn't try to get away, even though he did not participate himself. He would in time. He would come to connect sex with Lucifer with being appreciated and loved and noticed. They would work this through.   
“So perfect. My good boy. Precious, beautiful boy. Never wanted someone like I want you. You're special.”  
Gabriel now was making mewling noises and he had closed his eyes, looking content. Lucifer trusted up into him, his lips turning into a mean curve. He hadn't forgiven his brother for running away and he wouldn't make his road to redemption _too_ easy.   
When he started to spurt, he forced Gabriel's head to stay how it was. “Don't swallow just yet.”, he ordered. “Keep it in your mouth, precious.”  
Gabriel looked up at him, his gaze unfocused. He was obeying now without thought it seemed.   
“Jerk off. Keep your eyes on me, lips closed.” He was breathing hard himself. His orgasm had left him with weak limps and the desire to go to sleep but this was more important right now. He petted Gabriel's hair, while the boy started to work on his own dick, which had been flacid till now. He did it dutifully, up until Lucifer pressed his fingers into his back, started massaging him. Gabriel groaned around his dick. Still the same spots his first few girls had found back in the day then.   
When he was near, Lucifer leaned forward, forced himself closer to Gabriel's ear. “Every time you jerk off, you will remember this. You will remember the smell of my crotch and my seed in your mouth, the taste of my cock. You will do this for me, precious, won't you?”  
Gabriel didn't react until Lucifer worked his fingers into his shoulder. Then he mewled and nodded and came.  
“Swallow.”  
Gabriel did, while still shaking with his own release.  
“That's a good boy. Come up here.” Lucifer got him up onto the seat, on top of himself and cuddled him close. He pressed a kiss on his hair. “My precious, wonderful boy. Now go to sleep. I'll keep you safe. I always keep you safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Lucifer drugs Gabriel and manipulates him into oral sex. 
> 
>  
> 
> So. It started. Lucifer gets his manipulation spiel on. Tell me what you think, leave cookies for Gabriel (his life will take some turns for the worst) and maybe some bribing for Lou.


	5. Hot chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after and Gabriel just doesn't know what to do with his brother's advances. Meanwhile his life takes an unexpected turn for the worse.

Gabriel's dreams were a mess. It was hot or just warm and he was drowning and he was nesting and keeping something close, running away. He was afraid and he was safe.   
When he finally woke up, he sat up and took everything in. There was the ancient TV, the magazines, the smell of oil and cheap cigarettes.   
He was ho-... He was at Odin's place. He knew this smell, he knew what was going on. He looked down from the couch. There was a glass with milk there. Odin would have put it strawberry pulver and cinnamon. It was always sweet and kind of disgusting but it helped against the hangover.   
He tried to remember, how he had gotten here and he just couldn't. Everything was blurry. He put a hand on his forehead. He swallowed. His throat felt tight and raw and there was a stale taste in his mouth. 

What the hell did he drink?

He tried to remember but just couldn't. He growned. He probably had made an ass out of himself in front of Lou. He wanted to say that he would never live that down, but well. Lou wasn't interested in him at all, he would just forget about it. It didn't matter it Gabriel acted like a worthless lowlife, because that was what he was in his brothers mind.   
Gabe drank the milk, stood up and then walked to the bathroom, stripped and stumbled into the shower. He groaned when the water started running down his body. He hummed, closed his eyes and scrubbed himself all over. Bits and pieces came back, just glimpses of Sammy and...had he leaned on Lou? He thought he remembered his smell and warmth.   
Gabriel smiled and then put that away from his mind, started to give himself a good-morning-wank. 

It woke him up, more and more. He started humming and imagined the scent of sex, fingers on his neck. Strong fingers, stronger than he'd normally prefer, but well, it seemed to do the trick. And then he remembered Lucifer, looming over him, his semen in his mouth and his voice, husky and rough. _Precious boy._  
Gabriel came with a “NO!” on his lips. He shuddered, waited till it ended and then went down on his knees. The water was still washing over him. Was this...was that a memory or a fantasy or...

“Nothing. It's nothing, nothing, nothing.” It HAD to be nothing. What the actual fuck? He couldn't just... Had that actually happened? No, no it hadn't. It couldn't have had. Lucifer... He hated sex, he couldn't stand to TOUCH people under his own class. There was no way that he would have Gabriel sucking his cock and...  
Fuck. Why had he been thinking about that?   
_He's my brother, you sick, sick fuck!_  
The worst part was, that there was a tiny part of him, that felt content. _Precious boy._ Would he say that? Maybe. He replayed the words in his head. _Precious boy. Precious boy._  
“Mhhh-hmm.” 

He opened his eyes. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. That just couldn't be right, how was this his life? Why was he... Well. He liked being special, Lou had always made him feel special. He had drunk himself down and now he had mixed that with his morning wank and sexual frustration and that was it. Nothing special about it.   
He forced himself to forget about it. When he tumbled back into the kitchen, Odin was struggling around, searching something. Gabriel sat down on a chair and stared at Odin for a few moments. 

“Waffles.”

“Fuck you, Trickster.”

“Pancakes.”

“Make them the fuck yourself.”

“Waffles.”

“You already said that.”

“Pancakes.”

“OH, FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!” Odin turned around, stared at him and then started to heat the pan and cut bananas, got the chocolate chips out, eggs, flower, milk and sugar. 

“Cocoa with coffee.”

“Alright, what's wrong with you? You're getting more on my nerves than normally.” He came closer, looked into Gabe's eyes and smelled at his mouth. Gabe hoped, that he was just smelling the peppermint of his tooth paste. There was nothing he didn't want him to smell.   
_The sticky salt of – NO! Never happened!_

“'ya drink something shady?”

“Don't think so.” He shrugged. “Sammy's a boyscout.”

“That's the worst.”

“Nah. Not Sammy.” He was just swimming with the wrong crowd.

Well. Lou hadn't done something bad to Sammy. Yet. Maybe yet. Maybe he had become better. Gabriel didn't believe that, but...well.   
He looked down at his watch. There was a rerun of an interview, Lou had given like three years ago. He had had his hair long back than. It had been a good look on him. Gabe had liked it, it had been the reason he had let his own hair grown. 

…

Maybe that had been a bit creepy. 

“Wanna watch yer show?” Odin looked at him, his eyebrows raised. Gabriel blushed and looked down on his plate, 'cause he knew what he would be saying and normally that would have been fine, but... It was fine now, too. He knew that it was. This was alright. This was alright. Nothing happened. NOTHING!  
Odin grinned. “Know about yer crush.” 

“It's not a crush!” 

His friend stared at him, cocked his head. “Yer blushing. Why'yer blushing? Ye NEVER blush bout this shit.”

Gabriel blushed some more. He knew it. Fuck. It wasn't a crush. Best thing would have been to just not watch it at all. He bit his lip. Well. But there was also the thing, that he might not see Lou again for quite some time. Or ever in person. He wasn't that often on TV and Gabe didn't have reign over the Tivo. 

“Not a crush.”, he said, but stumbled into the living room, put the TV on and accepted his pancakes when Odin got him them. He didn't even look up to accept his plate.   
Lucifer was smiling at the host. He was witty and sarcastic and was _mean_ but no one seemed to notice that. He was hypnotizing and normally Gabriel could just let it roll over him, but...   
_Precious boy._ It was so much easier to imagine him praising him while hearing his actual voice. Gabriel was close to mewling and crying at the same time. Fuck. This was just so fucked up.   
He stuffed his face with pancakes. He smelled sex and tasted....fuck. Why was he thinking about something like that? Couldn't he have normal dreams? Why did he need to have incestuous dreams?  
Not even that good ones. He was the one servi-.... No, not thinking about it. 

Lou grinned at the camera, evil and arrogant.   
_Precious boy._  
He whimpered. 

Odin was still on his mission to find whatever. Gabriel couldn't concentrate on him. He was captivated by Lucifer on the screen, his voice and he couldn't shake the feeling that he should try to jerk off. He wasn't aroused or anything, but the feeling was there. He was so, so close to crying over it and he knew that...well. He wouldn't be able to just not see Lou again. He would see him. He had to see him. He wanted to hug him, keep him close. Or...or maybe he could make him laugh. Yeah. Hell, no one knew Lou's humor better than Gabriel. He would be able to. It had been so long ago, that he had seen the man laugh, laugh so hard, that his chest was vibrating. Lou did contain these laughs, put a hand on his mouth, every time, but Gabriel had always tried to lure that hand apart, to get to see his brother laugh and that always ended with Lou pinning him to the ground, tickling him. There had been sparkles in his eyes. They had both been so young and careless in these hours. 

Maybe Gabriel could befriend him. They might get over 'Loki' being a lowlife. Maybe Lou would find him amusing. Like a pet.  
 _Good boy._  
A pet wasn't what he should want to be.   
Fuck. Lou was back in his life for a few days and he was already fucking with his mind.   
_And – no! Nothing else! Get a grip!_

The ads came on and Gabriel turned around, now focusing on Odin. He had never seen the old man so devastated about something.   
“So...what exactly are you looking for?”

“My ravens.”

The ravens? “Aren't they with your photos?”

“NO!”

Shit. That was bad. These ravens were what he treasured the most. They were made out of obsidian, a statue of two ravens on a tree. Odin didn't care for anything but for these ravens. His only true friends.   
Gabriel looked around too.

“Maybe under the couch...”

“NO!” Gabe lunged forward and grabbed Odin's arm. Fuck, under the couch were his books. The theme of the month was Latin texts about Nero. He really should have taken an interest in something different than a mad dictator. Odin couldn't see that. YEARS. Years and he hadn't ever seen the books under the couch. Gabe couldn't take that discussion now on top of everything else, he just couldn't. 

“What...the fuck, boy?” Odin forced him away and made his way over to the couch.

“NO! Just...just don't! PLEASE! You -”

But Odin just pushed the couch away and -  
And there were no books. But there was a broken statue. Two broken ravens and a broken tree out of black obsidian.   
Gabe stared down at the broken pieces, uncomprehending. What was going on? What was happening?

“Get. Out.”

“Odin...I didn't....”

“OUT!” He took Gabe at the collar and lifted him from the ground. The next moment, he threw him out on the floor and closed and locked the door.  
Gabriel just sat there and stared at the wood in front of him. He was in his underpants, an old shirt and red, fluffy socks with cupcakes on them. All his stuff was in the apartment. Well. Most of his stuff. He had a bit of money and clothes at the university and at the train station. He was always prepared for running.   
That was all, he had. 

He kept looking at the door. Odin would kill him, would he see him again in the next few hours. Or days. He believed that Gabe had broken his... But he hadn't! He HADN'T! And he should know that Gabe would never do a thing like that and... But the books had been gone.   
He had been so wasted. Maybe...maybe he had done something stupid.   
Gabriel groaned and pulled himself up. Well. He would have to start thinking on what to do now. And before that he should get some pants.   
That would be fun. 

~*~*~*

At the train station he had had slacks, a shirt and an old trench coat. He sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a pumpkin latte. It wasn't that great, really, but he did it anyway. Pumpkin latte seemed the way to go. He sat there and he waited for Odin to come here and talk to him, make the whole thing good again. Odin had to know that he hadn't done that.

But Gabriel waited there for two hours, than three, than four. It had long gone dark outside and he was starting to feel hungry.   
He was lonely and he may have to go to... Oh fuck, he would have to go living again, like he had been years ago when he had run away in the first time. It was starting to get cold outside. He would shiver, he would be lonely and hungry and he would have to try to get a new job. Everything he had, he owned to Odin. The couch he slept on, his work... If Odin didn't believe him, he'd be on the streets again. He was becoming too old for that. He sighed and buried his face in his arms. Why didn't he believe him? He _knew_ him?

He was close to sobbing, when he heard someone singing nearby. It was _Seasons in the sun_ , but with a happy twist to it, sung in a dark, rough voice. He knew that voice. 

His heart gave a flutter.

He looked up and saw Lucifer. He had an arm around Sam's shoulder, dragging him along. They both seemed slightly drunk which probably meant that Lucifer wasn't drunk at all and Sam would not remember his own name when asked for him.   
Gabriel stared at them. There was a halo of warm light around them. Well, the light was the sign of a sex shop behind them, but that didn't matter. He felt tears behind his eyes and just looked down again, biting his lip. 

He hid his face, just wanted them to be gone. He wanted to cry. Streets again. Alone again. Cold and hunger and no reason at all to stand up in the morning. No friends. No nothing. 

He felt a foot against his leg. He looked up and saw Lucifer sitting there, Sam beside him. Lucifer pushed a cocoa over to him. It had a cinnamon stick in it and great amount of peppermint cream on top. It looked poisonous and sweet as hell. It looked wonderful.  
Lucifer pushed the cocoa over to him. At the same moment a foot was crawling up Gabriel's leg and settled on his crotch.   
What...what was he doing? 

_It hadn't been a dream or a fantasy._ Gabriel stared at the smirk on his brother's face and he knew that there had happened something.   
He should push him away, he should avoid the food on his crotch. That just...that wasn't right, they were brothers and he was a guy and he...  
Gabriel stared at the cocoa in front of him. It was, what he had always gotten from Lou when he had been sad or ill. Lou had made him cocoa and they had watched some stupid movie, anything that Gabe had wanted and … And everything had been good. Had been _great_.  
Lou would take it away, should he object to the foot. 

“Thank you.”, he mumbled, took the cocoa, let the warmth seep into his body, made him feel whole and cozy and cared for. The foot on his crotch was moving and he tried not to squirm, while his body reacted to the manipulation. The flavor of the chocolate was exploding on his tongue. He sighed happily. Lou was smiling at him, all soft and nice and safe. 

Gabriel smiled back, took a sip and the foot on his crotch started to feel nearly good. 

Sam leaned his head on Lucifer's shoulder. Gabe wanted to rip his head off.   
“Lou saw ya sidddddng here...” Sam said to him and tried to open his eyes. “Think he wantsch t' ravish ye...pssssssscht!” He said that to Lou. Gabriel didn't know who he was talking about, but he leaned forward, grabbed Sam's collar and forced him away from Lou and onto the table. He could sleep there. Lou smiled at him, beamed really and pushed his foot down just _so_. Gabriel closed his eyes and tried very hard not to whine. 

“Aren't you cute?” Lucifer smiled again and then leaned over, put a hand on Gabriel's hand, rubbing his thumb over his pulse point. 

“You shouldn't be doing this.” Gabriel looked at the thumb and he really didn't know how to live without it at this moment. Any kind of physical contact was better than none at all, right? No...no... It was just becoming so hard to remember that. 

“Why?”

It was a good question. Gabriel looked at his cocoa, because he couldn't think about a reason. _We are brothers._ That would be the reason against the foot on his crotch. He could also say that they were practically strangers but he knew that he wouldn't be able to get the words out of his mouth. It hurt THINKING them. “We are at a very public space...”

Lucifer's grin turned feral and mischievous. It had always been like that when they had been somewhere and dared each other, had played little tricks. It had been there thing and it made _this_ a dare.   
Gabriel took his cocoa, drank it and started squirming, while the foot was massaging his dick. He closed his eyes, breathed the cocoa in. He wouldn't let Lou _win_ this. He just wouldn't. It was starting to become a manner of pride and it took his mind of stuff. He bit his lips when he started to feel it grow in him. His hands were sweaty and he bit his lip to not moan. It should have been a clinical manner, the foot of someone on his crotch he wasn't attracted to that way, but there was the cocoa in front of him and he had felt so alone before. 

He was close, he was so damn close. He closed his eyes, sighed and then...then the foot retreated.

Lou grinned at him, his hand still on his skin.   
“We want you to be able to get out of here without dirty trousers, right?”  
Gabe looked from Lou to the snoring Sam and then to Lou again. This was just...what the fuck was going on with Lou? He felt frustrated but there was still the hand on his skin, anchoring him. 

“I am... Aren't you with Lilith?”

“Oh, we are not like that.”

Him and Lilith or him and Gabe? Did Lou do this thing with everyone now? Had he just become more physical than before? He didn't like the idea. He didn't like Lou _changing_ while Gabe wasn't there. 

“I am...” Gabe looked down at his hand and then looked away. Odin had left already for something he had not done. Lou hadn't even recognized him. He didn't have the advantage to being his brother anymore. “I am... You have this thing about good blood, lineage.” 

“Yeah. And you have that.” Lou shrugged. “I am pretty sure that you were either switched at birth or became bored with the good life. Because there is greatness in you.” Lou grinned at him. “And you are as cute as a button.”

Gabriel was blushing. He NEVER blushed. And he really shouldn't blush when his brother put the moves on him. Fuck. HIS BROTHER WAS PUTTING THE MOVES ON HIM!

“Are'dya dating naaaw?” 

“Oh look, it's alive.” Gabriel looked at Sam, who was looking at the interlinked fingers. He didn't know how to answer this question. He looked at Lucifer who was smiling slightly. Then he let go of Gabriel's hand. 

“I'll put Loki in your care for the moment, Sam.”

“What?”, said Gabriel. 

“ 'add?”, lulled Sam. 

Lou rolled his eyes, because obviously they were stupid about it. He took Gabriel's hand and pressed a kiss on his fingertip, before he nibbled at it, ignoring Sam's gagging noises. _He's going to devour me._ Gabriel shuddered.   
“Well. You wouldn't be here, had you an other place to be. So I guess that something happened at your flat. You would not be comfortable with me, so Sam will be taking you in for the moment. Isn't that right, Sammy?”

“Sure...” He frowned. “Don't call me 'ammy...”

“Right.” Lou laughed and then ushered them out and Gabriel couldn't stop thinking about how Lucifer was making everything right again. Maybe...if he couldn't be his brother, it wouldn't be...  
He shook his head. 

“I'm not into you, Lucifer.”, he said.   
Lucifer didn't say anything to that, but he retreated his hand and Gabriel missed the warmth of them on his back. 

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lou's evil plan of evilness has started. Poor Gabriel. He still thinks that he's got a choice. Well. Maybe Lou is underestimating him. We'll see. :)  
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Tell me what you think, leave Kudos or requests or cookies. I'd give you cookies too, but Lou made them and I don't want to poison anyone.


	6. Copper and rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou gets what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this one took a bit longer, but now it is here and I hope you'll all enjoy it.

Meg hated the janitor. She called him just that. The janitor didn't need a name. He was a bug. A stupid, stupid bug. She didn't know why HE took such an interest in him. HE hadn't been at Sam's since the janitor had started living there but he phoned Meg every day and wanted to know everything. It was heaven to feel so important, to be able to listen to his voice like this, curled on her bed, cradling the phone against her ear. And it was hell, because all he wanted to know was, how the janitor was doing, whether or not he was eating enough, sleeping enough.

She wanted that stupid bug gone. 

But she couldn't kill him herself. Her master would know and he wouldn't like it. So. Someone else would have to get rid of him. 

She looked over at the door knob and then down at the powder she wanted to give Sam. It had been so easy to get him hooked. He was smitten with her and the more he used, the more smitten he got. She was his high. She knew the feeling. But she knew that she couldn't get what she wanted, not really at least. But she wouldn't let the janitor get it. 

*~*~*

It wasn't that bad, living with Sam and Dean. It was good, really. Dean was an asshole, of course, but they were bickering and left each other alone. Sam himself was nice. They were joking, watching bad TV-series... He tried to help him get a new job and after a while Gabriel was helping out in the bookshop on campus. It was just possible, because the owner knew and liked him. Charlie was a nice girl, a bit young to own such a shop and Gabriel made himself useful by fixing all the books. He liked the numbers. They were neat and he understood them, understood the rules.

He didn't understand anything else. He didn't understand what had happened with Lucifer.

Gabriel dreamed of him. He dreamed of the times when they were children, dreamed of Lucifer soothing him when something had made him cry, telling him that he was beautiful and perfect when the kids at school were mean to him. He remembered his smell, his wonderful smell that meant home and safety and then the dreams always shifted and he was full of that scent and felt like choking and he woke up, sweaty, cold and aroused. He preferred to use cold showers to masturbation most of the time but... There were moments, when he knew that... He did it nonetheless and when the thoughts came, the pictures, the feelings, smell, taste, he...he welcomed them, bathed in them. He wanted them, because for a moment it was real and he felt close and loved and when it was over he was alone again. 

There were moments, when he switched on the TV and searched for programs with Lou on them. Dean started to joke about his pining, his man crush. Sam didn't say anything. He just stopped and looked and then Gabriel switched the program because he didn't want to talk about it. 

Every time he heard Meg in the hallway, he looked up, hopeful, waiting, hoping, dreaming. But she was always alone. She never offered any information about Lou and Gabriel didn't ask. He didn't want to ask, he couldn't, he _mustn't_ ask or even show interest. It became harder and harder. 

Gabriel was sitting in the living room, watching a spanish soap opera. He knew that there was a documentation with Lou in it on the other program but he couldn't... He couldn't risk that there would be old pictures of him, Dean and Sam coming in and seeing them. But he wanted to. Oh how he wanted to switch channels, to just...to at least see him, to have the illusion of not being lonely for a moment. He really, really wanted that. More than anything. He was close to switching the TV of and sneaking under the shower, getting back the smell and pictures for a few wonderful moments. 

Dean came in, switched the TV off and then sat down on the armrest. “I worry about Sammy.”

Gabriel looked at him and then shrugged. Yeah. He got that. But it was too late to worry, really. Lou wanted Sam, he had him already. It was all a game now and Lou was a cheating bastard, always had been. Sam was gone. At first, he might be using, might be a junkie or doing shit no one should do but in the end he would be just an other perfect, little tool for Lou. He would look the same and speak the same, but he would be a tool and empty, only filled by the desire to please his master. There was no point in fighting. Lou always won. 

Dean's brows drew together. “I mean it, asshole. I think... I think he's using.”

“Yup.” Gabriel nodded. No point denying that. 

“Yup? What do you mean, yup?” 

“He is using. I mean, it is pretty obvious. The red eyes, the lies, the nervous twitching of his hands... The color of his nose.”

“You knew this.”

“Like I said: Oooooooooooooobvious...who wouldn't know? Beside campus security, but really, I played poker with these dudes and they are aaaaaaaaaaawfull!”

Dean stared at him for one moment, two moments... “WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE? WHAT KIND OF FREAKING ASSHOLE ARE YOU?” Dean had his hands clawed into Gabriel's collar and dragged him close, till he had to smell the pizza in his breath. 

Gabriel rose his eyebrows. “Dean-Oh...we shouldn't be as close as this. I do love you, but we would have to elope and my Bonny an' Clyde days are behind me.” He saw how Dean wanted to hit him and really: He was too tired for this kind of shit. “And what exactly should I have done anyhow, Dean-Oh?”

“Freaking stop him, you fucker?”

“Alright, dumbwit, let's think this through.. I go to bigfoot, take his candies and then he smashes me.”

“Sammy would never punch you and you know that!”

“Sober Sammy wouldn't.”

Dean stared at him. Oh stupid, stupid, innocent Dean. 

“Bruce Banner wouldn't hurt a fly. The Hulk on the other hand....the Hulk SMASHS!”

Dean shook his head. “You're just so full of shit. Right, so I will talk him out of this and you will freaking help me!”

“Nope.”

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FREAKING FUCKING MOTHE-”

Gabriel pressed a hand on Dean's mouth. “Believe me. You can try, Dean. But it won't work. You two will fight and not talk for a few weeks or months till you will cower. But me he would close the door on. I would be on the streets. So no. I know junkies. I won't help you.”

Dean looked like was ready to punch him, but then there were noises at the door: Sammy and Meg, returning from their little trip to whatever place they used to get shitfaced, when Dean was home. 

The older Winchester let go of Gabriel, turned around and vanished into his room. Gabriel went for the shower.

~*~*~*

Dean did talk with Sam later on. 

He left before the week ended. 

~*~*~*

He was playing _Dragon Age_ on Sammy's Laptop (Seriously, he wanted to fucking marry Morrigan.) when he heard him in the hallway. Meg's laugh howled through the door and Gabriel's heart started beating faster. Maybe. Maybe this time...  
The door opened. Sammy and Meg were touching each other, laughing, falling over each other like little puppies that were high as shit. 

Adorable and sad as fuck.

And no Lucifer whatsoever.

Meg shot him a look that was knowing and mean and Gabriel poked his tongue at her. Fuck the bitch. 

“Heeeeeeeey Gabe...” Sam waved a hand, laughed and then somehow twisted his legs and landed on the floor. He started cackling.

“Fuck, you're high as shit.” Gabriel tried to be not all high and mighty but he knew it came out depressed. Sammy had been such a bright man, such a good kid. And now... Gabriel stood up, took Sam's arm and pulled his sleeve back. He whistled. “Fuck, Samsquatch, you look like a kid went wild and gave you creepy freckles.”

“Fuck you.”

“Or maybe it were little midgets, giving you hickeys all over.” He turned to Meg. “That the way you give someone hickeys, Meggy-Meg?”

“Fuck you, midget! Yooooooou're the midget. You're like....tiny! So small! You could live in my pockets... I am sure, you've got a tons of brothers that ate your portion's so you had to stop growing. Right? Riiiiiiiiiight.”

Gabriel gulped. He put on a smile. “Nah, only child, Samsquatch. Perfection comes in small portions. But there's enooooooough for everyone. Interested, Sammy-Squatch?”

Sam laughed at him and pushed him away. He stayed giggling on the floor. Gabriel grinned and stood up. He went into the kitchen and lost his smile on the way. Sammy was going down fast. He was in the happy junkie land right now. That wouldn't stay like that. The dude would take too much, not get enough... Lucy would wait till he was graving this and then he would put it in front of him and make him into a trained little puppy. And on the way to that state, Sammy would lose everyone around him. He would be..alone. He would be alone with God and God would be Lucifer and that would be the end of it.

The door closed behind him. Gabriel turned around and stared. Meg was standing there. She seemed totally sober now and there was hatred in her eyes. Gabriel put his hands in his pockets and his nose up high. The arrogance seeped onto his face, he knew it. Fuck her. 

“What is it with you?” She came closer. Gabriel put himself between her and the knives. 

“Pet, I'm sure you're making sense in your own head, but -”

“Lucifer. Why is it _you_? What is so special about you that he...”

“Wants me to fuck him and you to fuck Sammy?” Well, maybe because he was _good_. He was special, he was intelligent and precious and his _blood_ and –

_Fuck!_

He couldn't think that, like that would be a good point for him, like he _wanted_ Lucifer to be into him. And Lou didn't know that they were brothers. He wouldn't wan that, would he know. So. Lou saw him as a janitor and he wanted him nevertheless. Gabriel gulped. It felt hot in his stomach. The thought of Lucifer wanting him. It didn't matter how, just.... He wanted him. And Gabriel had never wanted anything more than Lucifer loving him. He just...he didn't know why. He was a janitor. Lou would lose his interest, maybe then, when he didn't feel reminded of his little brother any longer. 

Gabriel bit his lip and then pulled his Loki persona out. He would fucking kill that bitch, should she try to out arrogance him. 

“You're just a bug.” She sneered at him. “You are disgusting and small and ugly and _stupid_. You were born in mud and you will die in mud and you're dirtying the air he breathes!”

Gabriel laughed. It was an ugly sound, he knew that and he didn't care. The girl wanted to hurt him? Really? She was _nothing_! He remembered Lucifer pulling him on his lap when he had been 6 years old and the other kids at school had been cruel to him. He had always been short and the other kids had pushed him around, had told him ugly things. Gabriel remembered the warmth of Lucifer, of his arms around him and his lips against his ear. It had been so nice after Michael just telling him to be a man, to fight, to make it better. 

_”What do they mean anyway?”_ , Lucifer had whispered to him, kissed his forehead. _”They are beneath us. They all are. They are the kids of teachers, workers, minor politicians... But us – you and me and Raph and Michael – we are born to be great. We are here to MEAN something. You are important and you are so much better than them. You don't need to care about them. But if you do, I'll come with you and we will make them hurt.”_ An other kiss, slow rubs over his back. _”You are everything to me, Gabriel. And you are so much better than any one of them. Ask something of me and I'll give it to you.”_

Gabriel cocked his head and snickered again. “Darling, it's sweet how you seem to think that I am the reason, that he isn't looking at you. But – newsflash – you are a tool. Play your role and then turn over but don't expect him to rub your tummy. And I am...well. Look at me. I am gorgeous, I can rock a romantic candle light dinner, impress with my wit and after that – well. Let's just say that I am – oh, to hell with euphemisms. We are under friends, and girl, I can tell you without exaggeration, that I am REALLY good at sex. I am flexible and seriously well endowed. Thought about doing porn at one point, but the people who wouldn't get to sleep with me would have become jealous, it would have been sad.”

“He'll forget about you.” She came closer pushed a finger against his chest. “The moment you're not here any longer, he'll forget about you and you can crawl back into some freaking whole.”

“Well. Would be nice, if I were to go, right?” Gabriel would crawl onto Lucifer's lap just to piss her off. Well. No. He wouldn't do that. That would be cross. Well. Unless Lucifer would... Oh that didn't matter, 'cause Lou wasn't showing up. So. No harm in imagining being closer than he should be. 

“Aren't you, now?” Meg grinned. Gabriel didn't like that grin. He really fucking didn't like it. 

Meg turned around rammed her eye against the knob. She whimpered.

“What...” He stared at her. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Meg grinned at him. “Nooo....no, please, please don't...” She punched her head against the kitchen counter. She whined. “Saaaaaaaaaaam! AH! NO! NONONONO! PLEASE STOP!”

“Meg?” Noises out of the living room. High as a cracked squirrel. A cracked squirrel the size of a fucking transformer.   
Gabriel pushed the window open and flung himself outside. An other life over.

*~*~*

It was cold and wet. It was raining cats and dogs and Gabriel just didn't have the strenght to sit up and get himself to a shelter or something like that. He had been abandoned again, thrown out and this time there wouldn't be Lucifer come back like a victorian hero, dashing in, saving the day. 

Not this time. He had chased him away the last time. He had told him, that he wasn't into him. And he wasn't. Not really. He masturbated even though it made him think of him, but that wasn't his fault, that was just to feel loved for one moment, to feel safe. 

And now he was lost and alone and maybe he should just stay here. No one would ever really like him, trust him, take care of him. He ran away in the beginning and now he ran again and everyone else turned him down. 

Yeah. He leaned back, closed his eyes, let the rain pour over his face. It was damn cold and he didn't even have socks on him. He could sleep here. Let the cold and the rain do the job. 

_You're so depressing, champ._

He heard footsteps but didn't open his eyes. Someone stood in front of him. Gabriel waited for the person to leave, but it just didn't happen. After a while he reluctantly opened his eyes to tell the person to just let him die in peace. 

Lucifer was looking down on him. He had the hands in the pockets of his coats and he looked down on Gabriel with no emotion whatsoever on his face. 

“Lucy...” 

No reaction. He didn't even really see him. He just looked like he was just seeing the floor, analyzing the dirt there. 

“Lucy...please....” No reaction. Gabriel struggled until he was kneeling in front of him and put his hands on Lucifer's legs. He was so warm. So damn warm. He surely smelled nice. If he were to hug Gabriel, he would be warm and safe. For a moment. And then he would be blowing it again. Lucifer gave him chance and chance and chance. Gabriel was intelligent enough. He knew what Lucifer wanted from him. It had been made clear enough. 

Maybe... 

Gabriel looked at his brother, who wasn't looking at him. 

_My precious, wonderful boy..._ He remembered that and the warmth and... 

_Fuck it._ It didn't matter that they were brothers. Lucy didn't remember, they wouldn't produce any babies and really: No one would ever know. Just Gabriel and he was so fucked up already. 

He leaned forward and nuzzled Lucifer's crotch. He remembered that smell. Musk and soap and home.

His brother started to move. He crouched down and then there were fingers under Gabriel's chin. Lucifer stared at him for a few moments. His eyes were so freaking blue and then there was this smile and Gabriel could feel his breath on his lips. Somehow that was so much more intimate than sucking him in his car. 

_When we're doing this, it's official._ Then they would be... _like that_. He should run. He should just turn around and crawl and run and find himself someplace different. The one person he really shouldn't be doing this with was Lucifer, no, he should just -

“You're thinking too much.” Lucifer, mocking and so soft at the same time. And then he pressed forwards and pressed his lips on Gabriel's. He hadn't closed his eyes and he didn't seem to intend to do it any time soon. He and Gabriel just stared at each other while they were pressing their lips to each other. Gabriel didn't notice how Lucifer shrugged out of his coat but then there was that warmth around him and the smell of _Lou_ and then there was the tongue. Lou licked over Gabriel's lips and then pushed in. Lou gnawed at his underlip, sucked it in and then licked into Gabriel's mouth, put a hand on his neck. Gabriel couldn't turn away. He was being owned. He was wanted. 

The moan was there, before he could manage to keep it down and then he didn't care anymore. Lou chuckled. There was a twinkle in his eyes. Gabriel couldn't take it any more. He closed his eyes and licked back, tried to forget what was happening. 

Lucifer was rubbing circles on his back, soothing him, _caring_. Gabriel was close to crying. 

He felt hands moving, down, down, down and then he was being lifted up, cradled against Lucifer. He should tell him, that he wasn't a child, just because he was small but instead of that, he nuzzled his brother's neck, smelled and licked. He was trying to show him that he could do this now, that he was grateful. 

Lucifer kissed his forehead. “Come on, precious. Let's get you home.”

“You're not my sugar daddy, unless you really give me sugar. Like chocolates.”

“I love you too.”

Gabriel smiled and closed his eyes. He was safe.


End file.
